It’s 4am and I’m fed up.
Today is one of those days where my head feels foggy and it seems like I’ve lost sight of what I’m even doing online…..with my life …and with my business….…
In reality, I know what I’m doing….I’ve worked through what my big vision is…what I believe in…my values….how I help people….how I want to live….how I want to feel…..
I have journals full of the nitty gritty details of all those things. But still this morning while I sit here with my coffee and journal, making a half assed attempt to get “stuff” out of my head and on paper, I find myself feeling confused. I even made one of those fun mind map thingies….still confused.
Once again, I’ve let myself get caught up in the roller coaster ride of entrepreneurial mindfuckery.
Where one day/week/month I’m crystal clear on exactly what I do, how I’m doing it and I’m able to see the big picture….and then all of a sudden the doubt creeps in.
And it’s not that I’m doubting myself or my abilities. It’s more of the “is this really what I do..is this what I should writing about and posting about and talking about??” kind of doubt.
I get caught up wondering if I’m confusing people because I write about different things. I wonder if I should be “niching down” more (even though that whole concept makes me throw up a bit in my throat).
I start having little tantrums in my mind and getting pissed off at myself because I’m wasting my morning by letting myself get caught up in my own BS when I could be doing something more productive, or even reading something inspirational (which I tried doing, but my inner voice wouldn’t shut up long enough for me to get through a paragraph)
It’s all part of my self-sabotage program. It’s a sneaky way I let fear creep in (disguised as confusion). And the part that pisses me off the most is that I KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON.
I know this little game.
And thank fuck I know how to get out of it.
Once upon a time I’d let this continue for days….I’d journal…I’d do some eft tapping…then I’d journal some more. Of course doing those things are super helpful, but if that’s ALL you’re doing…..it’s a big ol’ sign of self-sabotage.
So now I put my foot down and stop this mindfuckery (I’m loving this term btw) before I get lost in it.
I remind myself that I am in control of my thoughts and that I can choose to be clear. I can choose to KNOW what I need to know in order to do what I need to do today. It all comes down to making a decision. I can allow myself to question, to doubt, and to let my thoughts spin wildly out of control….or I CAN CHOOSE CLARITY.
Phew. What a relief. Choice is a beautiful thing.
So now I’m choosing to simplify things.
I’m going back to square one.
What do I really want ?
This is where I do quick ideal day exercise and get clear on what I want my life/business to be. Nothing too fancy. Just a sneak peak into my perfect day (I imagine myself having taking the doggy for a walk, working out, having amazing calls with clients, doing readings, going for coffee, etc) Ok….that exercise alone makes me feel better. I can feel my energy shifting and getting more expansive….awesome. I'm aligning my vibration with what I want.
After I decide on what I want, I claim it.
I write out some “I AM” statements that clarify who that person is who’s living out that ideal day.
Then I do a combination of visualizing and feeling what that experience is like. This is sort of like the ideal day exercise I started with, but with more clarity.
Then I act.
By this time I feel like a huge weight’s been lifted off (because confusion is one heavy bitch). I grab my planner and write out what I can do today to create the life I want. I literally write at the top of the page “THINGS I CAN DO TODAY TO CREATE MY MAGICAL FUCKING DREAM LIFE….”
And then I let loose and write out every thing that comes to mind, pick 3 of those things that are the most important and ACT on them.
Now we get to the point in the post where I turn and ask you if you’ve ever let yourself get caught up in overcomplicating things.
Have you ever let fear weasel its way into your mind disguised as confusion?
Have you ever politely told that fear/confusion to fuck off ? Choose clarity instead.