Let’s just face it. Your problems are never going to go away.
Your current ones likely will, and everything will be smooth sailing for a while, but they’ll be back. Or a whole new set of problems will surface just when you think you’ve got everything figured out. You can’t go through this life without problems…or challenges, or hurdles, or whatever other word you want to use to describe them.
But just like everything else in your life, your problems are there for a reason. They show up so you can be exposed to a different way of looking at things. To challenge the way you’re currently thinking about something. Mostly, problems show up as lessons we need to learn in order to step into a higher vibration. That’s why the same ones always seem to plague us. The same problems keep showing up until we’re able to grow deeper as a person and be able to overcome them. They force us to take a look at our beliefs, and challenge us to alter the way we’re currently thinking and “doing life”.
Our problems can keep us up at night, cause us to spend countless hours worrying about how to fix them, and rob us of the joy we’re here on earth to experience.
We feel the need to work on them, understand them, and talk about them with anyone who will listen. We think that the way to rid ourselves of our problems is to analyze the shit out of them and focus on fixing them until they disappear.
Wrong. So wrong.
Stop focusing on your problems.
What we focus on, and direct our attention to expands and grows. Want bigger problems? Think about them all day. Worry about what’s going to happen if you don’t solve them. Talk about them to your friends until they start avoiding your calls. Then you’ll have to find new friends. Great. Another problem.
Focus instead on your potential.
Focus on who you would be if you didn’t have your current problems. What would that person be doing with their time? What would they be creating? How would they be showing up in their business? How would they be feeling? And then be that person. Fake it if you have to at first. As soon as you take one tiny step and start acting as-if you are that person, you’re no longer faking it anyway. That IS you. You’re just growing more into being that person.
When you start to focus on what’s possible and on your potential, you’re thinking and acting as the higher vibe version of you. The version of you who’s doing what they’re meant to be doing in the world, helping others, and making a ginormous positive impact. You start showing up in the world differently. You can’t do that and be the person you’re meant to be (your true, magnificent self) if you’re spending all day worrying about your current problems.
Notice how I didn’t say avoid your problems. You can’t do the ‘stick your head in the sand like an ostrich and hope they disappear’ thing. Deal with your shit. When problems arise, take responsibility for them, decide what you’re going to do about it, and then do it. This doesn’t mean that the issue is going to disappear overnight. What it does mean is that once you decide what you need to do to deal with the problem, you can do that (for however long it takes) and get on with the rest of your life.
Let’s take credit card debt for example.
Option 1: You get your bill in the mail and freak out over how much you’ve spent. You beat yourself up because you’ve been living beyond your means and you’re irresponsible with money. You think back to the time before you got into debt and replay all the things you could have done differently to avoid getting yourself into such a mess. When you hang out with friends you tell them about how stressed you are because you’ve maxed out your credit card and can’t even afford to go to the movies with them. So you go home, and sulk a bit because you have no money, only a giant balance to pay off, and by the time you do pay it off, you’ll be in a retirement home.
Option 2: You get your bill in the mail, and make the minimum payment or more if you’re able to. If you can’t do that, you call the card company to make other payment arrangements. Maybe you’re in so deep you need to talk to a credit counsellor. If so, you pick up the phone and make an appointment. You deal with it.
Then you get on with your life. You focus on your potential. You create a new product or service to sell. You offer a flash-sale on your current products. You get a side-job for 6 months if you need to. You focus on creating other ways to help people. You might also have to make some changes to your social life like skipping dining out with friends, but going out for coffee with them instead.
Worrying and focusing on the problem is only going to keep you in the low vibration that brought on that problem to begin with. Chances are worrying doesn’t feel very good either. If you’re constantly in that state, you’re blocking the flow of Universal energy that that will give you the creative ideas you need to overcome the issue you’re having.
When you make a decision to deal with your problem, and then focus your energy on the potential that you have as the creator of your reality, you’re putting yourself into a space of expansion. It’s in that expansive space-where you’re focused on possibilities- that magic happens. That’s the place where you open yourself up to receiving the ideas you need in order to solve your problem, and evolve deeper into being who you’re meant to be.
What you focus on expands.
Focus on your potential and surround yourself with possibilities.
You know those craptacular limiting beliefs that are holding you back from doing the epic cool stuff you’re meant to be doing?
Yeah. Those ones.
You don’t have to believe them if you don’t want to.
There are gazillions (last time I counted) of beliefs floating around the Universe. Each and every one of us has a whole bunch of them that we’ve picked up over the years from other people, or decided to accept based on our experiences.
But some of those beliefs just plain suck. They hold us back, and prevent us from stepping into the higher vibration we need to operate in so that we can experience the life we really want.
I’m never going to get out of debt.
I could never write a book because I failed english class.
I’m never going to meet the right person.
I’ll never get my business off the ground.
The list goes on and on.
So you try to overcome these limiting beliefs. You journal. You do some EFT tapping. You say affirmations. Then you journal and tap some more.
How frustrating is it to know that what you want is on the other side of these beliefs?
That once you break through, overcome, eliminate, or annihilate them, you’ll FINALLY be able to get on with your life and achieve what you want.
What if we’re making all of this too hard?
What if we just left the shitty beliefs alone and decided to choose better ones?
What if there wasn’t a need to overcome them? No more battling and fighting negative thoughts.
What if all we had to do is choose the beliefs that support the outcome we want?
It’s like going to an all you can eat buffet.
You have more than enough food to choose from. Some of it you like, some you don’t.
Salad, bread sticks, sushi, prime rib, mashed potatoes, cheesecake, some sort of macaroni dish with green chunks in it, fried chicken, steamed veggies, chocolate pudding…..
You get the idea.
There’s A LOT to choose from.
But what if you hate sushi with a passion and don’t want it any where near your plate? You ate it years ago, it made you sick and you think it’s the most disgusting food on the planet.
Do you freak out and obsess over the fact that the sushi is right there in front of you?
Do you point your finger at it yelling “SUSHI!! I don’t like you! You’re no good for me and I want nothing to do with you!!”
Do you demand that the staff remove the sushi from the buffet because you don’t want it?
No. Hopefully…not….(if you do, you’re probably a riot to hang out with. Call me.)
You simply choose NOT to have it.
Other people can eat all the sushi they want, but you don’t have to.
Like the variety of beliefs floating around in the world, sushi is just one of things we can choose to have.
Or not to a have. It’s there for those who do want to have it.
Just like our beliefs.
There are plenty of them around to choose from. Some are good for us. Some not so good. Nobody is forcing us to believe anything we don’t want to believe.
It’s our choice.
And even if we chose to believe something once upon a time, it doesn’t mean that we have to keep on believing it.
We always have a choice.
Frustration. Are you familiar with that feeling? That feeling of knowing something is possible…that something is just a few inches out of your grasp, and yet you can’t reach it. It’s not that you haven’t tried. It’s not that you haven’t done the inner work..put in the hours of journaling, meditation, tapping and whatever else you use to deal with your old shit that comes up. The shit that seems to rear it’s ugly head the moment you start to make progress.
Sometimes you can ignore it and keep ploughing forward.
After all, action is the fire that burns through bullshit faster than anything else.
But sometimes you have dive into your old shit, do some mental housekeeping and get things cleared up.
Then once that is done (for now…) you’re still left with that feeling.
What you want is over there and you’re over here. And it’s not that you haven’t done the outer work either. You’ve done your duty and been “visible” online. You’ve emailed your list, interacted with your people, and if you look at your day planner you’ll see by the pretty check marks that you have in fact done the work you were supposed to do.
Time to start handing out gold stars. You’re a good little worker. Very disciplined. Good job!
But then you’re left with the facts. You’re left with the reality you can see in front of you. The reality is, you’re still not where you want to be. Remember that movie from the 90’s “Reality Bites”? Pretty much sums it up.
But here’s the truth. What you want is already available for you. It’s not “over there” in some far off land or distant future. The fact that you want something is proof that it’s already available for you. The problem is, you’re looking at it from the wrong angle. You’re too close to the problem (the problem being that you don’t have what you want). Your current reality is just a teeny tiny spec of what the bigger picture is. And the annoying thing is, we’ll never be able to see the entire picture. That’s God’s job.
So you’re left only being able to see the evidence you have in front of you. Which is that you’re not exactly where you want to be. That relationship you want. The number of clients you want. The body you want. You’re just not there yet. It’s not happening. So you get frustrated. And it’s that feeling that’s keeping you in a lower vibration and preventing you from being able to see the things you need to see to get where you want to go.
How do you get past the frustration? How do you just keep doing what you know you’re supposed to be doing in order to reach your goals, despite the fact that you have no evidence of them getting closer?
You trust. Whether it’s in a higher power, or your higher self.
You just have to trust.
And let go.
And then trust some more.
You step into the role of the “you” that already has what you want and trust that as long as you keep acting from that place, you’ll get there. You do your part, the Universe does it part, and trust that whatever happens in between is for your highest good.
Easier said than done. I know.
Here’s an exercise I picked up from an Abraham/Hicks book that might help:
When you find yourself caught up in the “when’s it going to happen?!!!” cycle, whip out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.
On the left hand side, write out anything you can do that’ll help you get to where you want to go or get what you want (this is where I’ll remind you again that it’s already available for you. please don’t hit me ).
Then on the other side of the paper, write out some cool things that the Universe could do to help you out…like putting the right people in your life, or helping you see hidden opportunities.
This is like a dance between action and faith. Cha-cha-cha. Each one works together beautifully.
Then let it go and trust.
Trust that it’s going to happen as long as you keep moving in the direction of what you want. Trust that as long as you keep acting as if you already have whatever you want, you’ll be able to see it manifest in your reality. It’s that kind of trust that will move you into the same frequency of what you want and you’ll be a vibrational match to it.
Once you’re a vibrational match to whatever it is you want, it will appear in your physical reality.
It’s a Universal Law -like gravity.
What would the person who already has what you want do?
What actions would they take?
What things would they trust the Universe with?
You are pure source energy. You are pure vibration, resonating at a particular frequency. Because you are pure energy and vibration, you are always in motion.
Everything else in the Universe is vibrating as well.
Everything is constantly moving and in motion.
How often do you feel stuck in your business, or life for that matter? How often do you feel like everyday is fucking groundhog day because you’re doing the same things over and over and not getting different results?
So you come to the conclusion that you’re stuck.
That you’re not making any progress.
But if you’re always vibrating (which you are), you are always in motion and you’re always moving.
So you can’t be stuck. You can’t not be taking action in your business, because you’re always moving. Not taking action is still action in a sort of way because the things you are choosing not to do are moving you further away from your dreams.
You are not stuck. You ARE ALWAYS MOVING TOWARDS SOMETHING.
But what is it?
What are you moving towards.
Do you even know where you’re going?
Every thought you have is moving you towards something. If you don’t know what that something is, how on earth can you know what thoughts you should be thinking to get you there?
Once you decide on what you want, the Universe will give you clues on how to get there. You don’t have to see the entire plan laid out. But you do have to know what you want in order to get there.
When you know what you want, you have to decide who you need to be as a person to be in that place. To have that experience.
To get to that result.
Reverse engineer. What thoughts and actions did that person take to get to that place?
If you feel like you’re stuck and not moving forward, that can end today.
Decide on what you want.
And then as you’re sitting in front of your computer, or writing in your journal, ask yourself what that person would be doing right now?
What would they be feeling? What would they be thinking?
What’s one action they could take today to move them closer to that end result?
This is the question my mentor asked me earlier this week that totally shifted something inside of me.
My inner critic (bless her little heart) loves to tell me that until I reach a certain level of financial success in my business, I can’t really help others be successful.
Now, I know this is utter BS.
I know that success isn’t measured in dollars.
Success is knowing that you are moving forward towards your desires, towards your ultimate vision and doing so in a way that helps you grow and expand as a human being (and also help others do the same).
It’s about being a better version of you than you were the day before and evolving.
Asking better questions, choosing better thoughts, and challenging the thoughts you had the day before that prevented you from moving forward in some way.
Success isn’t a destination, it’s a process.
It’s a journey.
And that journey never ends.
So when she was asked “When are you going to be done?” meaning, when are you going to reach this mystical place of “success” when you can finally say….”Ok, I’ve reached ALL of my goals, and impacted ALL of the people I wanted to. Now I’m ready to help others do the same.”
My answer was never.
I’ll NEVER reach that place, because it doesn’t even exist.
Holy shift batman!!
Moral of the story: No matter where you are right now, you can help someone. You and your unique talents and abilities are all you need to start. right. now.
In a BIG WAY.
It’s been said many times before, but I’ll say it again (and to remind myself as well )......YOU ARE ENOUGH.
You already have exactly what you need to help the people you are meant to serve right now.
No need to wait.
When we acknowledge that and move into that space, we shift into a higher vibration (the higher version of ourselves). It’s an energy of expansion and growth.
And it never stops.
We just keep growing.
Soo….I’ll ask you the same question…if you’ve been holding yourself back in any way, waiting to be “ready” before you do the thing you know you’re meant to be doing….
When are you going to done?
When are you going to reach that time when you’re finished growing and are ready to do that thing that only you can do and help those people that only you can help?
p.s. your people really need you. now. today. :)